"You? Giving speeches? I can see it now -- you walk in with the hoody and the t-shirt and maybe the Dallas fitted." He lowers his hand, postponing the demise of the nacho chip in his grasp. “I bet you don’t even remove the headphones either,” Francis continues as I eat my bland taco in silence.


We're across the street from the law school campus, eating what passes for Mexican food in Cambridge, hours removed from completing our first final exam. Of the 80 students I have in my class, he's the one I'm closest to. Granted, I haven't attempted to get close to any of them so far. Partly because of my racism and classism (don’t worry: I’m getting over my distrust of rich, white people. More on this later.)


Sometime around the middle of the 10th grade, probably around the same time I joined NuTang, I had an epiphany after a girl broke my heart. (PEEP THE ZANZI COMMENT YO! Ah, to be young and full of hope.. well, okay, to be young?) Ever since then, I’ve actively made it hard for people to get to know me.

“See, the thing about me is that when I’m in a new place, surrounded by new people, I don’t go out and try to form bonds like normal folk.”

“While other people, people like you," I continue, "try to talk to people and make friends, I don’t engage. I observe. I'm not like you -- I don't do small talk and shoot the shit with people just for the hell of it. When I talk to people though, I try to make sure it counts."


"I get that,” Francis says between bites of his flavorless nachos, “but I really can't see you talking to kids."

I wait for his chuckle to subside before putting down my insipid chicken taco. "Code switching is all it is. I mean, when I was doing that -- recruiting for my undergrad, or working at the Department of State, I just had to act accordingly.”


I've donned enough hats over the past six years that I could challenge Mario for most versatile superhero. There's advocate Jon who worked with rape victims at a children's hospital for a few years, Big Brother Jon who mentored an 8 year old, State Department Jon who loved his work and Justice Department Jon who hated his work. House builder Jon, President Jon, boyfriend Jon, student Jon.. you get the picture.


“So yeah, that guy you said seemed apathetic to everything – being at Harvard, taking these courses, making new friends, all that… I suppose that is the real me. When I’ve got shit to do where I have to behave a certain way, such as giving a speech to an auditorium or talking to a four year old victim, I know how to behave. When it comes to sitting in classes about property law or administrative law, I honestly don’t give a fuck so if it seems like I don’t care about being in that class… I don’t. Check with me next semester though when I’m taking interesting classes like Criminal Law and human rights.”


Three finals down, one more to go. Hopefully tomorrow?

i really salute those who study laws, because I never get it into my head, only remember using the Law against my lecturer into giving us hints for quiz haha..

RYN: is Christmas season, so just had fun with new theme,
i never try chocolate with peanut butter, I'm sure I'm going to try it today :D
» jolenesiah on 2010-12-16 10:57:19

Oh yay, maybe you can trust me some daaay! :D I'm totally trustworthy, despite my milky exterior.

I always have a lot of respect for people who can be different things as needed. And some distrust, because I never know if who I'm talking to is the real one.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-16 11:42:13

1) Good...?
2) I know! Yay you!
3) It isn't the lateness that surprised me...closing usually only takes ten minutes per register, and I only had two.
4) In a strange sort of way, yes. There are some people I never feel sure with, and they're the hat-wearers.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-17 12:38:58

RYN: never seen that brand in Malaysia, maybe I'll look at the airport~
it sounds so good, i thought you are mixing peanut butter n chocolate on ur own~
» jolenesiah on 2010-12-17 01:20:53

1) I know. :D
2) I did, but I just retook it and got something completely different from what I used to be. Apparently now I'm an ESFP.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-17 04:12:55

Cuties are a brand of clementines.

And I actually ended up not liking most of the cookies I took. I ate all the snickerdoodles and then let the rest be.
» randomjunk on 2010-12-18 11:24:52

Be...come stale?
Be... eaten by other people?
Be...ar the knowledge that I didn't want to eat them?
» randomjunk on 2010-12-18 11:56:14

Ain't mailin' nuttin' to no Goku. D:
» randomjunk on 2010-12-19 01:09:58

BTW, anime is plural and single, so no need for the s.

1. Onegai Teacher.
2. Samurai Champloo.
3. Full Metal Panic.
4. GTO.
5. Crayon Shin-Chan.
» peanutmelon on 2010-12-26 09:33:05

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, THE ANIME MADE ME CRY. WHUT.
» peanutmelon on 2010-12-27 01:31:16

Ew DBZ, it's all about DB. LOL.

MANGA! ANIME! NOT MANGAS AND NOT ANIMES!

Rurouni Kenshin was good, for some reason I was always comparing it with Flame of Recca.... I HATE HOW I DON'T READ MANGA OR WATCH ANIME ANYMORE D= STUPID SCHOOL.
» peanutmelon on 2010-12-27 01:03:37

I'm not going to bother correcting you American now :~

DB was my first, therefore, hah 8D

Onegai Teacher is awesome :| I rewatch it sometimes since I own the originals.. dubbed. I know, gross, but whatever. I should dl the subs again.. Hm...

Onegai Twins wasn't that great :/ Iunno, I prefer one guy - one girl thing, not 2 girls and one guy... Whatisthis, trying to keep up with the harem? Psh, typical. Didn't pass 4 episodes for that series.

Yeah, drop out of Harvard and start your freelance writing 8D Sounds good to me.
» peanutmelon on 2010-12-28 02:31:21

Thank you Dilated for checking in. I look forward to a refresh in 2011 for my nuTang blog so I look forward to updating more often.

I always enjoy reading your entries.
» bifocalLs on 2010-12-28 04:10:44

re:
I didn't get into the books, but I have somehow seen all the movies.
YEP, A KINDLE! I'm enjoying it, actually. Why NOT a Kindle?!
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-28 11:36:56

Jon, you need to let it go.. I am no longer a Texan... I am now a Canadian ;_;
» peanutmelon on 2010-12-30 10:02:29

Hahaha, I see what you did there.

Not going to work!

Though I wish :|
» peanutmelon on 2011-01-01 12:59:31

no..
haven't gotten it... but i am going to call again today.
» msminty on 2011-01-03 11:36:37

hello jon....since you lack a messaging module in your profile I'll just post the pw here. Since nobody ever looks at your profile anyway *scoffs*. pw is: thisismylife

Although...I'm interested to know what job you are applying for up in the great northwest??
» The-Muffin-Man on 2011-01-03 02:29:00

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